An Indirect Approach

The people of East Africa are indirect.

In the village lived a wealthy man. One day a neighbor suffered a loss - one of his family died. All of the villagers came to be with the neighbor, some bringing gifts of money, some bringing gifts of food, all of them there with the grieving neighbor, ensuring that he would not grieve alone. But the wealthy man, he came, dropped off some money, and left. Later, another neighbor suffered a loss. Again, the people of the village came together with the grieving family. And again, the wealthy man came, gave money, and quickly left. This happened many times over the years. One day, the wealthy man suffered a loss in his own family. As he mourned and grieved, the villagers heard of the death. Each villager came, handed the man some small money as they were able, and left. As evening fell, the man was alone in his grief. And the wealthy man realized he had behaved badly to his neighbors.

East Africans will very rarely say anything negative to you directly - even in matters where you are behaving wrongly or inappropriately. In this culture it is extremely important to never cause anyone to lose face, even when they have done something wrong. The relationship is more important, even if one side is long-suffering at the hand of the other. Direct conflicts that must be addressed are always addressed by a mediator who hears the complaint from one party and then approaches the other party. The mediator is the go-between, working to bring both parties to full reconciliation. Or, like in the story above, others quietly suffer with misbehavior, confident that someday the offender will see that they have done wrong.

Many visitors who come to East Africa on mission trips spend time with the local church to try and ensure that they are doing something the local church wants and needs. The visitors will approach that meeting as Americans do: quickly get your ideas out there, enjoy open debate, and vote at the end on the best approach.

Getting the idea out there:

In many East African cultures, to open your mouth first is to mark yourself a fool. Rather, the wise person in the meeting is the one who speaks last. He has listened and considered all the information and weighed the options from every angle.

Openly debate:

Open debate does not function the same way it does in America. To debate someone's idea in front of them would invariably cause them embarrassment as pros and cons are weighed. Rather, all ideas are put forth, expanded upon, and discussed. Only after an idea has been on the table for some time (and has become an idea on its own, apart from the person who first voiced it) can something negative be said about that idea. More likely, nothing negative will be said directly, but group members will have realized on their own what the weaknesses are and that one of the other options is better. The statement abandoning the bad idea would not even mark it as a bad idea, but could take the form, "I think it is better to do..."

Voting:

Decisions are not reached by vote as Americans think of it but are arrived at by consensus - which can take considerable time. Through discussion and deliberation and even times of silence, the group will come to a consensus on what is best and how to proceed. Only then will the group leader (if there is one) voice the final decision as a summary. All parties have bought in over the course of the discussion.

Unless a visitor is aware of these cultural nuances, they will come out of every meeting saying "It was great - they loved all of our ideas!" And the local church will not speak counter to that assertion, just as they didn't speak counter to any idea brought forward in the meeting. In fact, the local church will likely never tell a visitor "No." They would rather endure years or even decades of bad ideas and poor or counter-productive work than say anything that might offend the guest.

When coming (or returning) to work in East Africa, remember the story of the wealthy man in the village whose neighbors suffered his offensive behavior in silence for years. And if someone tries to tell you a story, listen closely for the lesson behind it and ask yourself if it applies to you. Even better, make it a habit to always listen closely when functioning in another culture - remember, God gave us two ears but only one mouth. The indirect approach works extremely well here and local churches would be overjoyed for visitors to participate and work together with them in ways that honor and value this important attribute of the culture.

-Shauen